A level plain of ups and downs

I know I'm not the only person out there who suffers with lows. Being able to publicly write about it, I guess I know I am open. But the feeling is still the same. There are no current influences, I can't put a reason to why I am experiencing this more today, or this week than at any other time. Gone are the simple attempts at a reason, that I would be sure of at 18. Surely enough was there then to feel low. I am painting, working hard on most ventures I attempt to undertake.
My personal life is fine, my friends, well they could be seen more, but I have a family, as do most others have there own life. But I undoubtably feel considerably low. I can sit in my studio and happily be content with my work, but still cry. Music, well unlike my youth, it can be anywhere, but doesn't encourage my mood as it nice did, so deliberately. I just feel down in a part of what must be my brain! I am dieting, which can contribute, as I also take medicine for high anxiety and depression, which I feel, and know needs raising.
The emotional connection I encounter with some certainly heightens my down, but yet to truly let lose on my thoughts, to an extent where being judged is not an issue. You know when someone is genuine and knows when to ask questions. Yet that's not what I want, but I guess the familiarity with one who can and wants to know, listen to these explanations of utter confusion is I guess needed, and most certainly wanted. Sometimes, you can't be accepted by what would seem your closest person, a spouse, and a sibling. I'm not one to judge, but it's taken differently from them, they naturally become defensive, and want what's best, usually assuming they have contributed to my issue!
But merely not the case, sometimes I think we all feel enclosed in our most open area of livelihood, and perhaps is what I currently experience! Hopefully, it is just my off week, and as an artist, a situation that I have always dealt with, yet differently than now, more controlled now! Tomorrow is another day, cry, smile, laugh, we continue to move forward and cope the best we can. I just do so by writing, creating, and communicating! I'm positive many do so in other ways.
Well, enough of my rambling! I'm sure I can be less distracted in a week!!!